Thanksgiving is our favorite holiday at Vinegar Hill, probably because it is so tradition-laden. Traditions change, however, sometimes unintentionally and, as I learned in 2009, sometimes for the better.

For many years, the Los Angeles Times Food Section had touted the supremacy of the free range, farm raised turkey.

Easily intimidated on matters culinary, I immediately abandoned the Butterball, and ordered, the ultimate bird, a month in advance, from Not Your Granddaddy’s Farm USA (the names have been changed to protect the inept). The first few years went well, but then…

Here’s my letter, written the day after Thanksgiving 2009…

To the Chief of Turkeys at Not Your Granddaddy’s Farm USA:

    I couldn’t let this weekend pass without thanking you for the best Thanksgiving dinner we have ever had!

    For many years, including this one, I have trusted you folks to provide the guest of honor at my Thanksgiving dinner. This year, instead of sending me my turkey, you just gave me the bird.

    In mid-October I placed my order. For many years I had ordered a large turkey, but last year I ordered, and received, two fresh turkey breasts. This year, the only turkey breasts offered were frozen. It occurred to me that frozen seemed to defeat the purpose of the whole “fresh turkey” thing, but I assumed that you knew what you were doing and ordered them. I then had an email correspondence with Sara McGillicutty about when they should be delivered. I told her that I would like them delivered at the usual time on Thanksgiving week (Tuesday) if that would give me enough time to thaw them.

    When my “tracking number” didn’t arrive as promised by Monday afternoon, I called Not Your Granddaddy’s Farm USA: to let you know. (“We’re either on the other line or away from our desks, please leave a message.”) I left a message and I sent an email. I just knew that I would get a phone call or email from you right away with my tracking number and an explanation. After all, this is Thanksgiving, this is the turkey, this is a big, big deal.  Alas, I was wrong…  and I was shocked. You didn't call. You didn't write.

    So, I called you again on Tuesday morning.

   I’m calling again because I have not received my tracking number.

    “We just processed your order, you’ll get it tomorrow.”

   Why isn't it arriving today when the others are being delivered?

   "Well, um, we're handling your order differently from the others."

   (Hmmmm. I’m on the west coast. My turkeys usually arrive late in the day. Two frozen turkey breasts, arriving late Wednesday afternoon?  What about my dry brining? What about the air-drying?) And they are frozen! Will they even thaw by Thursday?

   “I don’t think they’re frozen. Are they frozen? Is there a problem?”

   Yes, there’s a problem.

    “Do you want to cancel?”

   Yes, and take me off your mailing list.

I was upset... very upset all day, and the day after.

It didn't help to receive additional emails from you later that morning saying things like

  “Dear Not Your Granddaddy’s Farm USA Supporter,

  More than 3000 turkeys have been sent!

  Check your tracking numbers and front door or porch starting this afternoon if you ordered a Granddaddy’s Turkey for this Thanksgiving!”

  

   You sent out more than 3000 turkeys and not one of them was mine? And why are you telling me this??? I couldn’t believe that your company would deal with the botching of an order by a longtime loyal customer in such an unprofessional and cavalier fashion. And in a recession! Where was my email with an explanation and an apology? My Thanksgiving was ruined! Where was I going to get a wonderful fresh turkey two days before Thanksgiving?

In the end, I didn’t. And although I thought and said (and am actually still saying) some really, really, really bad things about your company, in the end you did me a favor. You forced me to be creative, just like my ancestors from Plymouth.

    So this year, along with all of the traditional Thanksgiving fare, the cranberries, the stuffing, and the mashed potatoes, the gravy, we served two beef tenderloin roasts and told the kids that the First Thanksgiving was really celebrated at the Four Seasons Plymouth Rock. It was quick, easy and delicious! And guess what? Filet Mignon costs only half of what you charge for two frozen turkey breasts!

   After dinner we raised our glasses to you and all the folks at Not Your Granddaddy’s Farm USA, for which we are all truly thankful.

Sincerely,

The Mistress of Vinegar Hill

This year we're also having crab cakes from The Crab Place in Crisfield MD.

I don't know if the pilgrims ever knew about filet mignon, but I'm pretty sure they had crabs.